I AM

I watched Kung-Fu Panda on HBO this moring, and I was moved.

It's funny and touching. I was crying and laughing at the same time while watching the movie.

I have seen this movie with my husband before, but I can't remember the story at all.(My husband is always amazed at my ability of forgetting any movie I have watched. )

So the movie is new to me. I must say I was very enjoying watching it the sencond time.

The theme of the movie is about belief.

There is no secrect ingredient to become a master, only to belief in it.

When the Master Oogway told Master Shifu that you must believe in Dragon Worrior and Po, I was moved and crying.

It's kind of mixed feeling. These words hit me deeply.

All I read and learn is about belief, but now I am losing my faith. The situation hold me back and I was sad.

I lost in the world surrounding me.

To me it seems hard and I can never make it. I lost my faith.

When the Master Oogway speak out YOU MUST BELIEVE, it's like a voice out of blue  reminding me of belief.

I was furious and sad the day before yesterday. I blamed God for not being around.

Maybe I still believe in the existence fo God, otherwise I would not blame him/her.

One night I asked my husband who is a Christian: You believe in God?

H: Sure.

C: But why he does not give me a job. I really want to work.

H: God think it is not good time for you to have a job.

C: ......But I really want it.

(Out of blue)

H: You need to love youself first.

C:......(shocked) I love myself very much.(I thought)

H: Then you go to take care of your tooth and loimyoma. After you take care of your body, you can have a job.

C:......(sigh) I don't like to see a dentist. Don't want an operation....

 H: Good night.

C: ......